3. You Will Ruin Yourself by Being Neither Cold Nor Hot in Your Faith
In early February 2024, I was doing text-based duty in the church. At first, I was quite motivated; I felt my life entry was rather superficial, and that I was deficient in all areas, so I thought that by training in my text-based duty and understanding truths and principles more, I could achieve life growth more quickly. Later on, the supervisor had me partner with a sister named Qin Lan to manage a team’s sermon review work. Qin Lan had been doing text-based duty for longer than me and had some grasp of the principles and professional skills. I was very happy, thinking that being partnered with her meant I could learn a lot of things and grow more quickly in my duty. Knowing that I had just started in this duty, Qin Lan gave me rather detailed guidance. When looking over sermons, she would first ask for my view on them, and if I didn’t understand something, she would fellowship with me point-by-point. I studied diligently and took notes, feeling quite relaxed doing my duty in this way. Later on, while reviewing the work, I realized that there really was a lot to do. Apart from selecting sermons, we had to keep abreast of team members’ current situations and work progress, and when work results declined, we had to review all the deviations and issues. We also had to organize studies of professional skills, cultivate people, and so on. I thought to myself, “Managing all these different projects is too complicated; how much thought and energy do I have to put in and how much of a price must I pay to do all this work well?” As soon as I had these thoughts, it just felt like too much of a headache and too tiring for my flesh. When the sisters and I reviewed deviations in the work, I would want to participate and get involved, but when I thought of how I was new to this duty and didn’t understand things, and how Qin Lan was familiar with all aspects of the work, it seemed better to rely on her more, so I was fine with just playing the role of listener. When writing letters regarding rectifying deviations, I would just organize the main points Qin Lan and the others had discussed, which saved me a lot of trouble. When the work results suffered, the sisters all got very worried and would self-reflect and summarize deviations in their work, but I remained unbothered, thinking our work results had nothing to do with me. I thought I was new to the duty, either didn’t understand or couldn’t do things, and looked at problems superficially, so I settled into being a typical lackey. Every day, I would just check up on the work in a routine fashion, not wanting to put too much thought into it. Sometimes I’d start getting sleepy even before 9 p.m.
At the beginning of March, I experienced bad pain in my knees along with chest pain for several days in a row. A sister gave me a reminder, saying, “You haven’t shown much sense of burden in your duty recently. Now that you’ve gotten sick, you can do some self-examination.” She also used another sister’s experience to fellowship with me, saying how this sister had always listened to and relied on others in her duty, didn’t have her own views on things, and later was dismissed due to not being effective in her duty. Only after being dismissed did she regret this and realize the importance of her duty. I felt pretty awful after hearing this sister’s fellowship, thinking, “Hasn’t this also been my state recently? I haven’t wanted to bother with anything and have just acted like a lackey.” I thought of a passage of God’s words I’d read a few days earlier, which was quite related to my state, so I looked it up to read. God says: “Some people appear to have submission in doing their duty, doing whatever the Above arranges. But when asked, ‘Do you do your duty perfunctorily? Do you do it according to the principles?’ they cannot provide any definite answers, only saying, ‘I do as the Above instructs and dare not run amok committing misdeeds.’ When asked if they have fulfilled their responsibility, they say, ‘Well, I’m doing what I’m supposed to.’ See? They always have this kind of attitude when doing their duty—they are unhurried, do things slowly, and are half-hearted. You can’t really find fault with them, but if you measure their performance of duty against the truth principles, it is inefficient and not up to standard. And yet, they don’t care, they continue acting as they did before, and they still don’t do the things they should take the initiative to do—they do not change at all. Aren’t they shamelessly stubborn? They always maintain this attitude: ‘You may have a thousand brilliant plans, but I have my own set of rules. This is just how I am. Let’s see what you can do to me. This is my attitude!’ They haven’t done anything immensely treacherous or evil, but they haven’t done many good deeds either. What path would you say they are walking? Is this kind of attitude toward belief in God and one’s duty good? (No.) In the Bible, God says this: ‘So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of My mouth’ (Revelation 3:16). Being lukewarm, neither cold nor hot—is this attitude good? (No.) Some people think, ‘If I do evil and cause disruptions, I will be quickly condemned. But if I positively and proactively do things, I will get tired, and if I make a mistake doing something, I might get pruned, or maybe I’ll even be dismissed, which would be so embarrassing! So I stay lukewarm, neither cold nor hot. Whatever you ask me to do, I will do it. But if you don’t tell me to do something, I won’t intervene. This way, I won’t get tired, and on top of that people won’t be able to find fault with me. This approach is great!’ Is this way of conducting oneself good? (No.)” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)). God’s words had a deep impact on me. He had exposed my very condition in my duty. Outwardly, I would do whatever the supervisor told me to; I checked up on the work and selected sermons, doing all of these things, and I didn’t do evil or cause disturbances. However, I had a passive attitude in my duty. I had been doing text-based work for over a month, and I went through every day muddle-headed and with no sense of urgency. I just acted like a lackey in my duty, going along with Qin Lan’s viewpoints in my responses to letters, and not getting involved in the reviewing of the work. When there was no progress in the work, I didn’t get worried or anxious and just used the excuses of “I’m new to this work,” “I can’t do it,” or “I don’t understand it.” I had a neglectful attitude toward everything and lacked even the slightest sense of burden in my duty. Those who bear a burden in their duty are able to consider God’s intentions and think about how to undertake the work quickly, and they’re able to seek the truth to resolve work issues, think about proper matters, and have a proactive attitude. As for me, I only thought about how to keep my flesh from suffering. I relied on the sister I was partnered with in all my work and didn’t fulfill a single responsibility. It was then that I realized that this sister’s reminder contained God’s intention. If I continued with this same attitude toward my duty, it would be very dangerous, and I would do myself in. Having understood this, I felt like I was in a crisis and prayed to God, “Oh God, I am too heavily reliant on others and just want to be a lackey. I’m never willing to worry about things or suffer and I don’t have the slightest sense of burden in my duty. Oh God, I don’t want to remain in this ‘neither cold nor hot’ state and be loathed by You. I want to change—please guide me.” After that, I consciously reversed my attitude in my duty, keeping serious matters in my mind and no longer dozing off in the evenings.
Because I hadn’t attended to proper work or borne a burden in my duty previously, I soon faced the consequences of this. The work I supervised didn’t produce any results at all, and some brothers and sisters had become negative and passive in their duties. Like they say, “A platoon is only as good as its commander.” A few days later, since I had not made any progress in arranging my team’s study of the principles, the supervisor put Qin Lan in charge of this task. I felt really awful upon hearing this, and realized that I hadn’t arranged set times for studying and had just passively waited for Qin Lan to make arrangements each time. If I had been a little more attentive, borne a little more burden, and organized and supervised everyone’s studies of the principles in a timely manner, I wouldn’t have been reassigned. God was revealing me through this matter, and I felt upset and self-reproachful, thinking, “How could I have done my duty in this way? Am I not being untrustworthy? Where is my integrity and dignity?” Later on, I saw these two passages of God’s words: “How should people do just deeds, and what state and condition must they do this in, in order for it to be considered preparing good deeds? At the very least, they must have a positive and proactive attitude, and, while doing their duty, they must be loyal, be able to act according to the truth principles, and safeguard the interests of God’s house. Being positive and proactive is the key; if you are always passive, that is problematic. It’s as if you are not a member of God’s house and you are not doing your duty, as if instead you have no other choice but to do it to earn a salary because the employer requires you to do it—you are not doing it voluntarily, but very passively. If it weren’t for your interests being involved, you wouldn’t do it at all. Or if no one asked you to do it, you absolutely wouldn’t do it. Doing things with this approach, then, is not doing good deeds. So, people like this are very foolish; they are passive in everything they do. They don’t do what they can think of doing, nor do they do what they can accomplish with time and energy. They just wait and observe. This is troublesome and very pitiful. … God has given you caliber and many superior conditions, allowing you to see clearly this matter and be competent for this work. However, you do not have the right attitude, you lack loyalty and sincerity, and you do not want to try your best to do it well. This greatly disappoints God. So, when faced with many things, if you are lazy, always feel bothered and do not want to do them, and you inwardly grumble, ‘Why am I being asked to do it and not someone else?’ then this is a foolish thought. When a duty falls to you, it is not an unfortunate event, it is an honor, and you should gladly accept it. This work won’t tire you out or kill you. On the contrary, if you handle this work properly and do it well with your utmost effort, you will feel at peace and at ease in your heart, and you won’t have disappointed God. When you come before God, you can then be confident and stand tall. But if you don’t do this work or do it perfunctorily, then even though you haven’t caused any losses, for you personally, it will be a lifelong regret! It will be like a bottomless black hole, causing you to feel pain and unease throughout your life. Whenever it is mentioned that one should be loyal and sincere in doing their duty and should do their utmost, your heart will feel as excruciating as if it were being stabbed by needles. You won’t feel happy, proud, or honored about that matter. On the contrary, this agony will accompany you for your entire life. If a person has an awareness of conscience, they will feel this kind of sorrow. And what about from God’s perspective? When God uses the truth principles to characterize this matter, you will find that the nature of it is far more serious than what you feel. Do you understand? So, God will comprehensively consider your usual performance, and your attitude toward the truth and your duty, to view the path you are walking. Suppose that your attitude toward the truth and your duty is always perfunctory, and you make promises on the surface, but do not put them into practice behind the scenes, and you dillydally and lack a sense of urgency, and do not have a positive attitude of being considerate of God’s intentions. Even though outwardly you don’t cause disruptions and disturbances, do evil, act arbitrarily and recklessly or run amok committing misdeeds, and you appear to be a guileless and quite well-behaved person, you don’t positively and proactively do what God asks of you but instead you’re wily and slack off, and avoid doing real work. In that case, just what path are you really walking? Even if it’s not the path of an antichrist, at the very least it’s the path of a false leader” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)). “No one wants to be destroyed and sent to hell, but in spite of themselves, many people repeatedly do evil, traveling at high speed down the path that leads to hell. Some people repeatedly ignore the opportunities given by God’s house to do a duty, ignore the moving of the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit’s reproach, and ignore God’s expectations. They insist on being perfunctory, running amok committing misdeeds, acting in an arbitrary and reckless manner, causing disruptions and disturbances, being old snakes, and doing evil. No one is forcing you to do these things, and no one in God’s house is demanding that you do them. Clearly, it is your personal choice; it is what you are willing to do, what you like to do, and what you are enthusiastic about doing. When it is said that the path you are walking leads to hell and to destruction, you feel upset and negative. What is there to feel negative about? Isn’t this your own fault? Isn’t it self-inflicted? Isn’t it deserved? Some people say, ‘When I do evil, it’s because I can’t help myself. Every time, I want to do things well, but afterward I realize that what I did wasn’t good.’ You did evil and caused disruptions and disturbances, and you brought losses upon the church’s work. You may not be held accountable for your transgressions, but your transgressions create hidden risks, and you could end up repeating your transgressions in the future; this is very dangerous. This is just like someone walking along a path—each step leaves a trace. Do you recognize the transgressions you have committed? Do you feel remorse for them? Do you feel indebted and sad? Do you cry bitterly because of them? Have you turned around? Do you truly hate your evil deeds? Have you let go of the evil that is in your hands and genuinely repented to God? … If you cannot genuinely repent and instead deceive God with your vows, then the path you are walking is one that leads to destruction. Each of your evil deeds is a strike on the gates of hell; perhaps one of these strikes will finally open them, and the time of your death will have then arrived. It can be said that some people, from the time they started believing in God until now, have been constantly accumulating evil deeds and striking on the gates of hell with all of their actions and behaviors, while also accumulating God’s anger; they are waiting for God’s punishment to descend upon them” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)). After reading God’s words, I felt very unsettled. God said that those who are passive in their duty, fail to do what they’re able to, and act perfunctorily and irresponsibly in their duty are people who do not do real work, walk the path of false leaders, and are condemned by God. I reflected on myself: Despite doing a duty, I didn’t think of myself as a member of God’s house. Not only was I disloyal in my duty, I didn’t even fulfill the most basic responsibilities. The sisters I was partnered with summarized work in order to rectify deviations and do our duties better, but as for me, I didn’t participate or inquire. When I wrote letters to rectify deviations, I didn’t put my heart into it and just wrote based on what the sister said like a mindless robot. I also didn’t take everyone’s study of professional skills seriously and delayed their progress. This was all due to my unwillingness to spare concern for my duty and my not bearing a burden. Doing my duty in this way was something that God loathed and people were repulsed by, and I was certainly not worthy of their trust. I only considered my own flesh in everything I did, did not want to put thought into my duty or pay a price, just acted as a lackey and waited for everything arranged for me, not thinking about the church’s work at all and not considering God’s intention. This attitude I had toward my duty made God so disappointed. I relied on the sister I was partnered with in all things. While my flesh might have felt relaxed, I lost the chance God gave me to prepare good deeds and, like spilled water, would never get it back. I felt indebted and regretful! The line of God’s words that said, “Each of your evil deeds is a strike on the gates of hell,” really triggered me. I used to think that only Judas and others that did evil could break open the door to hell, but it turned out that God had been taking note of every time I indulged in comfort, failed to bear a burden in my duty, and refused to repent, and every note God took cracked open the door to hell a little wider. The door to hell is broken open by repeatedly failing to practice the truth. This consequence is truly horrifying! Reflecting on this, I finally realized that I was truly in danger, and I felt a bit remorseful, thinking, “God has still given me a chance to repent. I have to cherish the opportunity to do my duty and make up for my transgressions.” I prayed to God, “Oh God, I don’t have the slightest bit of humanity or reason. I only care about indulging in the comforts of my flesh and haven’t done a single one of the duties I ought to do well. I have greatly saddened You! Oh God, I know that doing my duty in this way will ruin me and damage the church’s work. I am willing to repent and accept Your scrutiny. Please discipline me and allow me to understand myself and cast off my corrupt disposition.”
Later on, I thought, “Why am I always unwilling to spare concern for things and exert my mind? What is the root cause?” I read two passages of God’s words: “Lazy people can’t do anything. To summarize it in two words, they are useless people; they have a second-class disability. No matter how good the caliber of lazy people is, it is nothing more than window dressing; even though they have good caliber, it is of no use. They are too lazy—they know what they are supposed to do, but they don’t do it, and even if they know something is a problem, they do not seek the truth to resolve it, and though they know what hardships they should suffer in order for the work to be effective, they are unwilling to endure these worthwhile hardships—so they cannot gain any truths, and they cannot do any real work. They do not wish to endure the hardships people are supposed to; they only know to indulge in comfort, enjoy times of joy and leisure, and enjoy a free and relaxed life. Are they not useless? People who cannot endure hardship don’t deserve to live. Those who always wish to live the life of a parasite are people without conscience or reason; they are beasts, and such people are unfit even to perform labor. Because they cannot endure hardship, even when they do perform labor, they are not able to do it well, and if they wish to gain the truth, there is even less hope of that. Someone who cannot suffer and does not love the truth is a useless person; they are unqualified even to perform labor. They are a beast, without a shred of humanity. Such people must be eliminated; only this accords with God’s intentions” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). “What kind of people are useless? Muddleheaded people, people who idle their days away. People of this sort are not responsible in anything they do, nor do they take it seriously; they make a mess of everything. They do not heed your words no matter how you fellowship the truth. They think, ‘I’ll muddle along like this if I want to. Say what you want! In any case, right now I’m doing my duty and I’ve got food to eat, that’s good enough. At least I don’t have to be a beggar. If I have nothing to eat one day, I’ll think about it then. Heaven will always leave a way out for man. You say that I have no conscience or reason, and that I’m muddleheaded—well, so what? I haven’t broken the law. At the very most, I’m just a little lacking in character, but that’s no loss to me. So long as I have food to eat, it’s fine.’ What do you think of this perspective? I say to you, muddleheaded people like this who idle their days away are all destined to be eliminated, and there is no way they can achieve salvation” (The Word, Vol. 5. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers. The Responsibilities of Leaders and Workers (8)). God’s stern words stirred my benumbed heart and exposed the essence of lazy people. Lazy people are unwilling to suffer and pay a price, and always wish to live a carefree lifestyle. These people aren’t capable of achieving anything, so attaining truth and salvation would be even more impossible for them. God says lazy people are useless, are beasts, and should be eliminated, and I was acting like just such a useless person. I didn’t want to put thought into my duty and pay a price and was living like a parasite, relying on others for everything and just drifting along. When I first started in my text-based duty, I didn’t have anyone to rely on and was able to rely on God, study diligently and make some gains. Once I began partnering with my sister, I wasn’t as diligent, I became lukewarm in my duty and didn’t want to put thought into work or pay a price, just seeking to muddle through my days in relaxation and leisure. Because I didn’t bear a burden in my duty, I didn’t shoulder any of the work assigned to me. The other sisters would worry about me and had to take on my work. Even so, I had no consciousness. I was naturally dependent on my sisters. Even after doing the text-based duty for over a month, I was still making the excuses of “I’m new to this work,” “I can’t do it,” or “I don’t understand it,” and didn’t check up with the work. How shameless of me! I lived by the satanic philosophy of “Life is short, so enjoy it while you can,” and “Drink today’s wine today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.” It was these decadent and depraved views and ideas that turned me into a degenerate. I only thought about how to keep my flesh from suffering and worrying, and didn’t put the slightest thought into how to do my duty well. I caused delays to an extremely important job. I was essentially disrupting the church’s work and acting as Satan’s servant! God says: “If you do not take God’s commissions seriously, then you are betraying Him in the most grievous way. In this, you are more lamentable than Judas, and should be cursed” (The Word, Vol. 3. The Discourses of Christ of the Last Days. How to Know Man’s Nature). I felt quite afraid when I thought of the consequences of all this. Someone like me was not trustworthy and if I kept bumbling along like I was, I would really be eliminated. I thought of how pigs wait in their pigpen every day to be fed by their owner, sleeping deeply after eating without the slightest care. If I kept living like I was, enjoying the comforts of my flesh, I would be no different from a pig and my elimination by God would just be a matter of time. I didn’t want to continue being lazy and useless, so I prayed to God, “Oh God, I don’t want to continue muddling along. This is a depraved way of living and has no value. Please guide me to become more diligent and properly do my duty.”
Later, I found a path of practice through a passage of God’s words. Almighty God says: “Doing your duty without doing evil is something you should achieve as a normal person. But preparing good deeds means that you must proactively and positively practice the truth and fulfill your duty according to God’s requirements and the truth principles. You must have loyalty, be willing to endure hardships and pay a price, be willing to take responsibility, and be able to act positively and proactively. Actions done according to these principles are basically all good deeds. Regardless of whether they are big or small matters, whether they are worthy of being remembered by people or not, whether they are regarded highly by people or considered insignificant, or whether people think they are worthy of attention, in God’s eyes, they are all good deeds. If you have prepared good deeds, it will ultimately bring you blessings, not calamities. Let’s say you don’t prepare any good deeds at all and are just content with the following: ‘I do whatever I’m told to do and go wherever I’m told to go. I never speak or act in an arbitrary manner, and I never mischievously stir up trouble or cause disruptions and disturbances. I really am obedient and well-behaved.’ If you always hold this attitude and do not proactively seek the truth and uphold the principles in doing your duty, and do not promptly correct or change your deviations and mistakes when you discover them, and never positively, proactively seek the truth to resolve the problems when you discover that you are being rebellious or notice that you reveal corrupt dispositions, but rather just do whatever you want, then even though you might not have caused any losses to the interests of God’s house or affected the church’s work, what you are doing is at most just laboring. Laboring, by its nature, does not qualify as good deeds. So how are good deeds ultimately defined? It is when what you do is at the very least helpful for your own life entry and that of the brothers and sisters, and beneficial to the work of God’s house. If it is beneficial to yourself, to others, and to God’s house, then your performance is effective before God and approved of by God. God will give you a score. So, evaluate these things: How many good deeds have you prepared over the years? Can these good deeds offset your transgressions? After offsetting them, how many good deeds are left? You need to score yourself and have a firm grasp of this; you mustn’t be muddled about this matter” (The Word, Vol. 7. On the Pursuit of the Truth. How to Pursue the Truth (11)). God’s words contain His intention and demands and He also tells us the path of practice. Fulfilling one’s duty as a created being is crucial. Doing one’s duty according to principle, being diligent, paying a price and bearing a burden—only by proactively doing one’s duty in this way can one prepare good deeds and accord with God’s intention. If you just go through the motions in your duty and only do what is asked, this might not seem like disturbance or disruption, but you fail to put your heart into your duty, so God does not approve of you. I reflected on how I had been neither cold nor hot in my duty, failing to do work assigned to me and disrupting and disturbing my duty. Not only had I not prepared good deeds, I had perpetrated transgressions. My duty was to select good gospel sermons, to help with preaching the gospel, bearing witness to God and bringing even more people before God to attain salvation. This was a very important responsibility and even the slightest amount of slacking off was unacceptable. I had just started training and still had many deficiencies. I had to put time and effort into studying and pondering, and do my duty according to God’s demands and principles. I also had to learn to show concern for and inquire into work, treat my duty with responsibility and diligence and take up the burden of my work. Only this would accord with God’s intention.
After that, I frequently prayed to God, rebelled against my flesh, stopped being neither cold nor hot and thoughtless, and was able to proactively take up my responsibilities. I also realized that the church hadn’t paired me with my sister so that I could enjoy the comforts of the flesh, but rather so that we could complement each other’s weaknesses and pool our useful ideas. Doing our duty in this way would reduce our deviations, be beneficial to our duty, and also be helpful for our life entry. I began consciously participating in our team’s work, would put thought into reviewing our work and express certain ideas, and my sisters would fill in where I had deficiencies. Collaborating together in this way, our fellowship became more refined and directed and I also gained things in the process. Then I stopped being so mindless and was able to put thought into my duty and put what I know into action. By practicing this way, I felt more at ease. After a period of time, I didn’t feel as muddled as before, made gains in truth and professional skills, and could sense God’s enlightenment and guidance. Thank God!
